Submitted by ub on Tue, 05/30/2023 - 13:21

Complicated Adult Friendships are good for our health and longevity. So why isn’t adult life more conducive to being good friends?


Of all the traits a good friend could have, honesty is certainly among the most important. An honest friend is someone who can and will tell you the truth instead of lying to you to keep you happy or placate you. A good friend will tell you the truth even if it's difficult.

Being non-judgment

A nonjudgmental friend makes you feel confident in and loved for who you are and not someone who instills self-doubt or insecurity in you. Nonjudgmental friends listen to you and do their best to see things from your point of view.


True friends accept you even when your lives move in different directions. True friends understand that your choices are yours and accept those decisions because they know that what's right for them isn't necessarily right for you.


Trust lets us feel safe with friends—safe to be vulnerable and to share our plans, our true selves, and our lives. A trustworthy friend keeps your secrets, keeps your promises, and is dependable.


Many longtime friends point to the fact that when they haven't been in touch for a while and finally reconnect, it is as if no time has passed. In other words, friends shouldn't require all of your attention all of the time and understand when life gets busy.

Tips to be a good friend:

Prioritize making time for each other.

Free time is sacred because we don't have much of it. At the same time, friendships grow through shared experiences and quality time together. The mark of a good friend is someone who makes time for you and makes spending time with you a priority. A good friend will also look for opportunities to maximize the time you have together by seeking fun and unique experiences that strengthen and maintain your bond.

Open up and allow each other to be vulnerable.

A good friend is someone genuine, someone, with whom you can be yourself and they can be themselves around. A good friend allows you to be vulnerable with them and vice versa, meaning you can expose your emotions and circumstances with each other and trust one another to listen, be supportive, and have each other's best interests at heart.

"Being able to have fun and share special memories are the result of having a trusting relationship that feels safe, For example, all of my friends and I have an understanding that we support one another in every way (yes, even ridiculous ways!) unless the level of ridiculousness is too much or would create a situation where we feel uncomfortable.

Pay attention to the little things.

A good friend can read between the lines of what's being said because they pay attention, and they know your heart, For example, if I ask, 'How are you doing?' to a close friend and the response is 'OK,' I know immediately that she is not OK. A good friend pays attention to the details because you care to take the time to understand the heart of your friend."

Be willing to challenge each other.

A good friend pushes you to grow, will let you know when you are on the wrong path, and will "challenge you when you need to be challenged. And this is all done in love and with respect. In this way, you can grow together and support each other along the way.

But be open-minded.

To be a good friend, you have to be open-minded. Being open-minded allows your friend to be their true selves, especially when they are making decisions. By remaining open-minded and not inserting your own biases into your friend's decision-making, you demonstrate that you are understanding and supportive.

Good friends support us, give us space to be ourselves and make mistakes, and they respect boundaries.

Look out for them.

A good friend is a courageous friend who will stand up and do the right thing when no one is looking and even if it doesn't benefit them. This may not be the type of definition most people have about courage, but trust me—it takes a lot of courage to do this.

For example, you might find yourself in situations where other people aren't treating your friend well or where you know your friend may be put in a sticky situation. As much as possible, a good friend is willing to stick their neck out on behalf of their friends, whether that means shutting down gossip about them, making sure they get home safe after a night out, or something else.

The BBC says the digital connection has mattered more than ever over the past couple of years, writes Rebecca Roache. So, how is the nature of friendship changing?……